One of my bridesmaids is also getting married, I'm her bridesmaid too. It's a very unique, special and fun relationship we have right now as we are both stepping into a new chapter of our lives and we both have similar problems and celebrations. Though, at times we both need to take a step back and realize that the other is getting married too. And we both have to help the other get excited, prepare and set up for her big day.
She, along with my sisters, has thrown me an amazing engagement party. It was so much fun! Though she doesn't want an engagement party. Nor does she want a lot of fuss to be had on her part. But I would love nothing else then to throw her a grand ol' party!
After much discussion and realization, I realized she isn't me, she doesn't want the same things as I do. We're opposites but we balance each other out. So I told her she has to stop treating me as if she's my bridesmaid (all of the time) and start treating me like I'm hers. She has to tell me, and others in the party, to just shut up and help her with things she needs help with. She really needs to handle the maids and tell them what's what.
The thing about bridesmaids is that they're not really maids. Everyone has their own lives and schedules and though they're happy for you they probably can't make it out to every appointment, every shopping excursion and talk about colour pairing for hours on end. It's difficult to say but... the maids aren't going to help you unless you tell them too.
Even though they're your best friends, sisters or cousins, you are the bride - so tell them what you want and don't let them run the show. They're going to help and they're going to want what's best, so let them know how to do that. Just be smart and communicate what you want. It's your wedding, they're there to help you have your dream day and ease the stress leading up to it.
If you can't get the message across maybe try some of these helpful hints.
Fun ideas to help get the message across:
Title them:
At a party or a shower make up little name tags that title who's who. Make tags that say "Maids" for the bridal party. It'll be a fun way of getting the message across and kicking the party into a playful mood.
Wear the Crown:
You can purchase 'Bridesmaid' play crowns at almost any dollar store. Make them wear it when you guys are together so they can clearly be in the 'bridesmaid' mind frame.
Give them a calendar:
In this calendar have tasks for them to complete by certain dates. Even if the tasks are as simple as 'calling to check up on my sanity' it may help you keep in touch with them and get thing accomplished a bit more easily.
Talk to them:
Clearly outline what you want and don't want. Usually the bridesmaids deal with the stag and doe, the shower and a bachelorette party. If you don't want something, such as strippers, then clearly say "I DO NOT WANT THAT." If they don't listen to you, perhaps they should have a name tag that says 'guest' instead... just a suggestion.
Include them:
Include your bridesmaids in your tasks, get them to help you out when you need them. Everyone wants to feel part of your wedding, especially your laddies. So ask them to come shopping for flowers with you or help you choose your jewellery. Let them know that you want them there and that you're excited with them. The gesture will be greatly received and be well returned.
